Sucks Or Rules

You'd be suprised how fast a Harley Davidson golf cart can get going. You can reach a good ten maybe fifteen miles an hour on a full charge. I worked at a Drive-in and we used to jump the hills in those things. At full speed it's pretty hard to catch one on foot, and I can run. I jog five miles six days a week and that's after my injury. In those days I was doing 8 and much faster. I'll get back there god damnit. I am healed up it feels like.

Where I work there's an auto mechanic that specifically works on golf cart because there are lots of resorts here in whorelando, and he's suped up some to go pretty fast. They even have a dude who air brushes flame jobs on them. It's funny shit to watch them fly around the lot in those goofy ass things.

Talk about a Golden Tee-off.

I thought the toilet eatery was over the top, but you're telling me that man is urinating into the shaft of a golf club? Was there a need for this product!? How do you even pitch that one... "Dennis, now hear me out. Remember our last golf outing, the 8th hole, off the fairway. Bob had to piss so bad he snuck away into the woods and nearly became a grizzly bear's lunch? Well I've got the solution. I call it "Pee Off"... kinda like 'tee off', except with the urine reference in there. It's a driver that doubles as a piss receptacle! And, get this, the liquid actually increases the length of your drives. Do you love it, or what?"